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Posts in Satire
Things To Do When the World is a World Again

Dear Future Me,

Right now, the world isn’t much of a world at the moment. I’m inside all the time, which, admittedly, is not out of character for us, but because it is currently an enforced state of existence, it’s become a bit of a burden.

However, once the world becomes a real place again, you’re likely going to forget all of the things you wanted to do once you can finally rejoin the public. So, in order to prevent future reclusive behavior, I’ve written you a To-Do List, out of the goodness of our heart, so that you might remember to live life to the fullest once you have the choice to go outside.

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The Cover Letter

To whom should be concerned,

I am writing to apply for the Generic Employee position at ACRONYM Studios/Productions/Inc. As a relatively functioning human-person, I realize you have approximately eight thousand people applying for this position with the exact same credentials as I have, but allow me to spend the next five minutes attempting to convince you that—in fact—I am the diamond in the rough you’ve been looking for.

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